Why I Wrote Dance Me Beautiful
Several people have asked me lately why I wrote Dance Me Beautiful.
I wrote Dance Me Beautiful because I had to. I was dancing for my life and needed to write for my life as well. In many respects, I had stopped living after my divorce. I was going through the motions of life but I had disengaged from life and from myself. I began to ballroom dance and the cells in my body started to come alive, but every time I felt an awakening something in me shut down. The voice in my head told me I didn’t deserve a second chance; I had used mine up; I didn’t deserve a happy life and I was foolish for wasting my time and money taking dance classes.
Dance was starting to work its magic but I was impatient and I needed to bring my head into this transformation. I needed to write to help process the desire, the resistance, the fight and the transformation. Between dancing and writing, I came alive.
I gave the Dance Me Beautiful manuscript to my dance instructor as my way of saying thank you. And that seemed to be the end of it. I hadn’t written Dance Me Beautiful to publish it or share it. Dance Me Beautiful sat in my drawer for many years. Every once in a while I brought it out and read it and felt that perhaps there was something more for this piece of writing – it felt somehow incomplete to put it back in the drawer.
And then in the fall of 2011, I heard Brene Brown speak. She talked about shame and shame resilience. She said that shame can only live in silence and that by sharing our stories we can light the way for others. I knew in that moment that it was time to put Dance Me Beautiful out in the world. It was time to share my story and offer a little light.